Idiots on the Road

Most people do it, and I’m sure most people hate it. Driving. The bane of my life since I got my license. I don’t know about you, but I find driving in Reunion an outright nightmare. Driving on the right, indicating when you overtake on the dual carriageway, fine, I can handle that. What I can’t handle are the thousands of other drivers out there who don’t know how to bloody drive!

I don’t know what annoys me most. Is it people who don’t know how to stay in their lane? That really grates me. No, I think what’s worse are those maniacs who drive right up your backside when you’re on the overtaking lane. As if their very presence would tempt me into forcing myself into the right-hand lane.

How many times have I been cut off by people who just forget about their stop sign? Too many to count I think.

Naturally, I get angry when I drive. I shout at people, I show them various fingers in frustration, naturally. My wife sat beside me, doesn’t like it when I get angry. Especially when I’m at a roundabout and nobody knows where they’re going!

Her advice to me is as follows: ‘Be a rubbish driver too’. Ridiculous. Unimaginable. Me, stay on the right lane, no matter which exit I take on the roundabout? I suppose that would mean that I couldn’t get cut off, but that’s not the rule!

Thank you for listening to me vent my frustration. I’m finding this very therapeutic.

When self-driving cars become mainstream, I will be a happy man. I can just imagine myself sat there on the way to work, hurtling down the Tamarin road, drinking my tea and eating my rougail saucisse with the window open. Calling to fellow drivers “Good day dear sir, lovely day for a drive, isn’t it? Toodle pip!” I have a strange imagination.

A question for all of you; What annoys you most about driving in Reunion? Is it the idiots on the roundabouts? The fools who forget they have indicators? The psychos who drive “this” close to your boot? The dopes who run stop signs? I’d love to know.

Well, have a lovely week, stay safe on the road and don’t forget to use your flipping indicators.

Vocabulary

bane – fléau
license – permis
outright – carrément
dual carriageway – quatre voies
to annoy – ennuyer

to grate – agacer
backside – arrière
overtaking – dépassement
to shout – crier
roundabout – rond-point

rubbish – nul
vent – décharger
self-driving cars – voitures autonomes
mainstream – courant
to hurtle – lancer à vive allure

fellow drivers – compagnons de route
toodle pip! – ciao !
fool – imbécile
to run stop signs – brûler les stops
indicators – clignotants

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